Baby Shower Breakdowns
by Emma-face
Summary: Aubrey arrives to take charge of planning a baby shower for Chloe and dances on Beca's last nerve in the process.


Beca stepped inside her home studio and closed the door quickly behind her. Leaning her back against the door she drew in a deep breath and counted to ten as Chloe had advised. It did nothing, she was still irritated. Maybe this technique worked for Chloe when her high school students were getting out of hand but they were obviously ineffective if your home had been invaded by one Aubrey Posen. Maybe Aubrey required a higher number, like a million. She huffed out a sigh and moved to her incredibly comfortable office chair and pulled on her headphones; maybe if it looked like she was doing some really important work she'd be left in peace. The only problem was she didn't exactly have any pressing work to be doing. She had specifically cleared up all outstanding projects so she would have some free time this week for the arrival of the Bellas for the upcoming baby shower. It was a decision she sorely regretted when she learned that Aubrey would be arriving three days ahead of the rest of the group to help set up for the party. To make matters worse Chloe was still at work which meant that Beca was left alone to manage Aubrey and her high strung antics during the day. She was extremely excited for the arrival of their daughter but really there was only so much discussing of streamers and banners and assorted party nonsense that a sane person could take.

She booted up her computer and pulled up a demo she had been working on for a band one of the talent scouts had discovered in a local club. It wasn't exactly a high priority project but after a morning spent being dragged around party supply stores and asked her opinion on various shades of pink she needed to do something to regain her sanity. She just hoped inventorying the party supplies would keep Aubrey busy for a while before she came looking for her. She immersed herself in the familiar beats, tweaking levels and adding elements where she felt they'd fit, allowing her work to soothe her frazzled nerves. She was so lost in what she was doing that she almost jumped entirely out of her skin when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She whipped her headphones from her ears to hang around her neck as she turned to release a barrage of verbal abuse on Aubrey only to find her wife smiling at her instead of the blonde.

"Chloe?" she narrowed her eyes at her wife, her voice slightly breathless from being startled.

"What are you working on?" the redhead asked with an amused grin.

"Just that demo for that band James found at a local club," she shrugged, taking her headphones off and saving what she had done so far.

"Well if Aubrey asks your VP called and needed you to listen something highly important before he signed off on it," she smiled impishly. Beca grinned and reached out to pull her wife into her lap.

"You're like the best wife ever!" she buried her face in Chloe's neck and kissed her lightly.

"Oh I don't know about that, I think you're giving me some heavy competition in that field," she hummed contentedly, clasping her hands over Beca's where they sat on her rounded stomach. She leaned back against Beca and turned her head to face her. "I really appreciate this you know, you putting up with Aubrey. I know she's kind of extreme."

"Kind of!" Beca scoffed.

"She's just excited!" she chuckled.

"I know," Beca grumbled, resting her forehead against Chloe's temple. "And she hasn't been so bad, I mean she only called me useless like 5 times today; I think she's going soft."

Chloe laughed and shook her head. "You're not useless! You're the best wife ever!"

"Second best," Beca corrected her. "Besides she's your best friend and likely godmother to our daughter so I suppose I can put up with her. I'd do anything for you and jellybean!"

"You are utterly too sweet sometimes Mrs Beale-Mitchell!" she smiled lovingly at the younger woman.

"Yeah, yeah," Beca rolled her eyes, wanting to move on from the mushy moment before she inadvertently made Chloe cry. "Anyway shouldn't we get out there, won't General Posen be looking for us?"

"No, we're good," Chloe sighed contentedly, relishing this moment of quiet inside her wife's arms. "I sent her a link to something about baby shower favours, so she's out looking for organza bags and themed candy."

"You didn't?" Beca gasped incredulously.

"I did," she grinned mischievously.

"I have never loved you more!" she announced dramatically, covering Chloe's neck in kisses and making her giggle. "So how long do you think that will take?" she asked feigning innocence that the kisses she was planting on her wife's neck belied.

"Not that long," Chloe laughed and gave Beca a playful slap on the arm. "I just thought we could both use a bit of a break. I love Bree but I'm starting to have flashbacks to her senior year!"

Beca smiled against Chloe's neck; sometimes it amazed her just how much she loved this woman. Chloe jumped up from Beca's lap about as quickly and gracefully as one can while 7 months pregnant and held her hand out to the smaller woman.

"Come on, jellybean is hungry and I'm craving some certifiably not Aubrey approved junk food!"

Beca had hoped that dealing with Aubrey would get easier once the other girls started to arrive and Chloe was off work but unfortunately this wasn't the case. If anything having more people to boss around made her worse. Beca felt worst for poor Emily who had never truly experienced the full force of General Posen and was struggling to take the barked orders and criticism in her usual cheerful stride. Mostly she was just grateful that the party was the next day and after that maybe Aubrey would relax.

"Beca!" the blonde's curt tone already had the DJ rolling her eyes. She drew a deep breath and forced the best semblance of a smile she could manage onto her face.

"Yes?"

"I'm worried we don't have enough napkins. Some if the Bellas are having problems folding them into roses so we've lost more than I thought. I knew I should have ordered more," she admonished herself. "Could you please run to the store and pick up a few packets?"

"Sure!" Beca replied quickly, thankful for a reason to get out of the house for a few minutes.

"Pink," Aubrey reminded her, as if there was a single decoration for the shower that had been purchased in another colour.

"Yes, Aubrey!" Beca said through gritted teeth. She was opposed both to the gendering of colours and the colour pink itself but Chloe liked it so she had gone with it. "Just FYI Aubrey there are other colours! We're having a baby not a Barbie!"

"Beca-" Aubrey began in a tone that sent Beca straight back to her freshman year at college.

"I'm going!" she said, grabbing her keys from the kitchen counter and heading towards the door. "Pink napkins coming right up!"

She stretched out the trip for as long as she could, making sure to return before Aubrey called her to find out what the hold up was. When she stepped through the door she could hear Aubrey yelling in the kitchen.

"Damn it!" she muttered under her breath as she made her way towards the noise. Stepping into the room she saw poor Legacy on the receiving end of a full on Posen meltdown rant.

"Seriously Emily it's not that hard! How can you have messed up so many? The instructions are perfectly clear," the blonde raged, holding a crumpled napkin that looked absolutely nothing like a rose in front of her while Emily stood looking at the ground like a kid in the principal's office. The other Bellas knew well enough to look away, not wanting to bring the wrath upon themselves.

"Alright that's enough!" Beca yelled over the noise. "Aubrey seriously you need to ease the fuck up and also you need to apologise to Legacy!"

"I just want everything to be perfect! This is my godchild's baby shower."

"Oh my god!" Beca's jaw actually dropped. She had officially reached her breaking point after 3 days of Aubrey dictating. "We haven't even asked you to be godmother! We weren't even planning on deciding until after the baby is born."

"I know you haven't asked but I mean come on, I'm Chloe's best friend," she countered.

"Alright that's it!" Beca huffed out a frustrated sigh and pulled her phone out of her pocket. "That's it I'm calling Stacie and officially asking her to be godmother!"

Stacie was in the middle of a big project at work so she was the last of the girls to arrive and would likely be on a plane mid-flight right now but that didn't matter to Beca right now.

"You wouldn't dare!" Aubrey narrowed her eyes at the younger girl, appraising her to see if she was bluffing!

"Try me Posen!" Beca narrowed her eyes threateningly.

Aubrey maintained the staring contest for a beat before drawing in a deep breath and turning on her heels to face Emily again. The young girl looked like a deer suddenly caught in the headlights of an 18 wheeler.

"Emily, I am sorry I yelled at you. I am just feeling a little stressed out because I want this party to be perfect for my best friend and potential godchild," she said calmly, taking another deep breath when she was finished.

"It's fine," Emily waved her hand dismissively, wanting this whole exchange to be over quickly.

"Thank you Aubrey," Beca nodded, returning her phone to her pocket. There was a minute of tense silence in the kitchen before Fat Amy spoke up.

"Ok so who had Legacy as the General's first victim and Shawshank to come out on top in the verbal smackdown?"

The final stages of the party preparation passed relatively uneventfully. The only other person to be on the receiving end of Aubrey's yelling was a caterer who Beca didn't have it in her to defend. Saturday morning arrived and Beca found her house looking like a rejected draft of a Barbie dream house with banners and streamers adorning every available surface. She sincerely hoped that Aubrey had plans to remove all of this before she left. She was grateful when she entered the kitchen and Stacie handed her a glass of Buck's Fizz. She had offered to not to drink in solidarity with Chloe but the redhead knew her wife well enough to know there was no way she would make it through an afternoon of baby shower games while sober.

"Starting a little early aren't we?" she joked as she joined Emily and Fat Amy at the table. The rest of the girls would arrive later, probably staying away to avoid Aubrey.

"Starting as we mean to go on," the leggy brunette winked and Fat Amy cheered. Beca was glad to have these weirdos around, especially after almost a week of Aubrey in full stress mode.

"Where's the ginger and the dictator?" Fat Amy asked, holding her glass out for a refill.

"Aubrey took Chloe to have her hair and nails done before the party," Beca explained, enjoying the peace and sparkling wine.

It didn't take long for the rest of the girls to arrive and indulge in a few pre-baby shower drinks ahead of the main event. It never failed to amaze Beca that no matter how much time had passed since college or how much they had grown up after a few hours together and a drink or two it was just like being back in the Bellas house. The sound of the door opening announced Chloe and Aubrey's return and they were greeted by a raucous hello from the group.

"Well don't you look gorgeous!" Beca smiled, sidling up to her wife and wrapping her arms around her while kissing her cheek.

"Thank you," Chloe beamed, kissing Beca chastely on the lips. "I see you guys have already started the party."

"I am drinking for two today!" Beca smirked.

"Mmm, don't remind me!" Chloe chuckled. She hadn't really missed alcohol thus far in her pregnancy but a house full of drunken Bellas was enough to make her crave some.

Beca detached herself from around Chloe and moved to the fridge. She hunted through numerous wine bottles that she was sure hadn't been there the night before until she found what she was looking for.

"So you might not be able to join us but at least this way you can pretend," she held the bottle of sparkling grape juice out in front of her.

"Babe! You're so thoughtful. I have the best wife," she grinned proudly.

"Remember that later when I get drunk and try to fight Aubrey!" Beca replied smartly.

The house soon filled up with the remaining non-bella guests who mostly consisted of work mates if both women; they'd learned at the wedding that parents and Bellas should not mix where alcohol was involved. The whole thing kicked off with Aubrey approaching Beca with a mother-to-be sash and a look on her face that suggested the DJ was about to be forced into it or Aubrey was going to die trying. If Chloe hadn't been standing beside her wife wearing a matching sash and a beaming smile the situation could well have ended with the blonde's demise. Instead Beca pouted heavily but allowed Aubrey to drape the sash over her shoulder and grabbed a bottle of champagne from Stacie who had been passing and drank straight from the bottle.

Aubrey was in her element playing master of ceremonies for the whole event, coordinating the many, many baby themed party games she had organised and making sure things ran smoothly. Beca, for her part, managed to make it through most of the party games with minimal complaining thanks to Chloe's hand holding hers reassuringly and Stacie keeping the drink in the other hand topped up. She even got weirdly competitive during one game that involved racing to put a diaper on a doll.

"Suck it aca-losers! I rule at diaper races," she announced victoriously, earning her a scornful look and a head shake from Aubrey.

"I'll be sure to remember that when we have to change this little one like 20 times a day," Chloe laughed.

After the games came the gifts, which only had Chloe in tears 3 times, better than anyone had predicted. Even Beca was touched by their friends generosity and the utter adorableness of tiny baby clothes; she particularly like the onesie Emily had picked out that had little headphones stitched around the neck. By the end of the party the nursery was pretty much fully stocked. Then came the cake that Chloe hailed as being better than being allowed to drink any amount of alcohol.

"I swear if the words better than sex come out of your mouth I will cut you off!" Beca smirked, holding her finger up in warning.

"I wouldn't go that far but damn it's close," Chloe laughed as Beca gave her a mock glare.

Once all the 'official' party events were over Aubrey loosened the reins on the Bellas and chaos reigned. Beca broke out her decks and spun mixes for a while before queuing up a playlist so she could rejoin the party. Before the end of the night there was an impromptu performance of the Bellas old final numbers that Chloe and the remaining guests enjoyed thoroughly. Even Aubrey had relaxed and drank enough to join in. The whole night ended with a riff-off in the garden.

"Why does every party we throw have to end in a riff-off?" Beca mused, leaning against Chloe's side as the redhead tried to stifle a yawn. The riff-off the night of their wedding reception was legendary.

"Because we're a bunch of aca-nerds?" Chloe giggled.

"A bunch of awesome aca-nerds," Beca hummed contentedly as she watch Legacy excitedly battle Cynthia Rose with Jessica and Ashley backing her up.

After a few more attempts from Chloe at hiding her growing tiredness Beca kicked the revellers out of their house claiming her wife and baby needed their rest.

"I don't care where you go but you gotta get the hell out of here!" she announced as the couple bid goodbye to their guests.

"You can head out with them you know," Chloe nudged her wife as the Bellas debated where to continue the party as they left. "I'm pretty tired so I'm probably just going to pass out anyway."

"I know but I'd much rather be here," she smiled lovingly at Chloe, not even caring how sappy she sounded at that moment.

Outside they could hear Amy screech from somewhere down the street.

"There goes the neighbourhood," Beca chuckled, rolling her eyes as she followed Chloe up the stairs to their bedroom.

The next morning Beca woke up with only a mild hangover which was more than she could say for the rest of the girls who were currently attempting to rid the house of all evidence of the previous day's party. Even the General Posen looked a bit off colour, allowing jobs to be half-assed without any retribution. In the middle of all the suffering Chloe was pottering around the kitchen preparing a cures all breakfast for them. She had long since learned what food each girl needed to ease their hangover and was making all of them with a huge smile on her face. Beca grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and watched the scene before her; her aca-family. They might be a group of weirdos and misfits but they were her weirdos and misfits and she loved each and every one of them; even Aubrey.


End file.
